What Is Internal Family Systems (IFS) Therapy?
A family is a system comprised of many people with different traits—for example, the protective parent, the rebellious child, the angry sister, the timid brother, and so many other variations. These interpersonal interactions create a dynamic that shapes the family system. According to the Internal Family Systems (IFS) Model, each individual’s internal world is characterized by a “non-pathological multiplicity.” In other words, because we are complex human beings, our inner world is similar to a family in that it is comprised of a multitude of “parts”.
For example, perhaps you have thought something like, “Part of me wants to take this job opportunity, but another part of me is afraid of making the change.” Or, “Part of me is angry and hurt, but another part wants to shut up and pretend this never happened.”
Just like different family members, each of your distinct parts comes with unique responsibilities, interests, perspectives, upsets, desires, and needs. That means, just like family members, your parts can be in conflict.
IFS, a comprehensive and evidence-based therapeutic model of parts therapy, aims to heal this inner conflict. In the early 80s, Dr. Richard Schwartz listened to his therapy clients describe their issues and observed how they naturally talked about the friction between their internal “parts,” creating confusion and chaos. Through compassionate exploration of these parts, he discovered that each part played a unique and vital role, even when they presented as dysfunctional on the surface . Drawing from his experience as a family systems therapist and with his clients' feedback, he developed IFS therapy to help clients calm the war within.
Schwartz observed that all individuals innately possess an authentic Self, which is compassionate, courageous, grounded, and calm. The primary goal of IFS is to help individuals move from parts-led lives to more Self-led existence.
Who Can IFS Help?
IFS is recognized as a highly effective modality for improving overall well-being and daily functioning. IFS therapy is appropriate for nearly every issue because it effectively addresses the primary sources of all pain: internal chaos and relationship wounding. No matter what you are struggling with, IFS therapy can help you heal the hurt your parts are desperate to express. Then, you can stop dedicating so much energy to managing those distressed parts and start living from the wisdom of your Greater Self.
How Does the Internal Family Systems Model Work?
IFS therapy addresses emotional, spiritual, and physical concerns by accessing your authentic Self. Think of your authentic Self as a grounded, calm parent. When the parent is in control, you enter a state of Self-leadership, and once you are there, you can effectively identify and communicate with the warring parts that are keeping you stuck and in pain.
According to Dr. Schwartz, parts tend to play three common roles:
Exiles
These parts hold painful memories from the past and associated emotions, such as fear, shame, loneliness, betrayal, etc. They are typically shunned or exiled from the system because of their potential to overwhelm us or cause too much discomfort.
Managers
These parts help us function in everyday life and stay at least somewhat put together. They strive to maintain control over more vulnerable emotions. Examples of managers would be self-criticism, avoidance, overachieving, perfectionism, addictions, intellectualizing, and many others. Most of us live our lives from our managers.
Firefighters
These parts come into play when managers can’t keep the exiles in check. When the exiles’ emotions become overwhelming, firefighters numb or avoid seemingly dangerous feelings through impulsive behaviors, such as substance use. Firefighters do put out the fire, but they leave a disaster in their wake.
Trauma, family of origin issues, and relationship wounding often lead our parts into their extreme, sometimes destructive roles. When these upset parts are “driving” our lives, we likely struggle with a host of emotional and relational difficulties such as loneliness, anxiety, anger, depression and overwhelm. IFS is designed to bring more profound awareness of our parts and their interconnections and foster a new, healing connection to your authentic Self.
Through IFS, it’s possible to:
Heal the wounds that activate triggers and successfully navigate conflict
Form connected, authentic relationships with yourself and others
Learn to recognize and express your emotions respectfully, without self-judgement
Deepen your sense of compassion for yourself and others
Foster self-forgiveness, self-acceptance, and personal growth
Relinquish shame and enjoy a sense of empowerment over your life
My Approach to IFS Therapy
IFS is very different than traditional psychotherapy, which tends to be highly cognitive, analytical, and pathology-oriented. IFS therapists will not see you as broken. We don’t orient to treating “pathologies”, such as depression; instead, we work with the parts that are holding feelings such as sadness, grief, and hopelessness and that are taking over your life. I do not set out to fix you because your authentic Self is not broken. I am a guide who journeys alongside you as you discover a new way of living and relating.
Your authentic self is already healthy and whole. In sessions, I can help you harness deep curiosity, courage, and the wisdom that already resides within you. Through compassionate, respectful, and mindful engagement with your parts, both from myself and eventually from you, we can help those parts heal. We will discover their underlying needs and unburden them from the negative core beliefs they carry and the unhelpful coping mechanisms they use to navigate your life. With the newly found access to your authentic Self, you can finally start living your life with a sense of meaning, purpose, connectedness, and joy.